Why You Feel Intimidated by People Who Speak “Perfect” English And Why It Has Nothing to Do With Intelligence

The other day, I told one of my students how much her spoken English had improved.

I had noticed it throughout the whole class. She was clearer, more confident, more natural. It felt instinctive to tell her.

Do you know what she said? “I wish my boss thought the same.”

She explained that she now feels much more comfortable speaking in meetings than she used to… except when her boss is there.

Whenever her boss participates in a meeting, something changes.

My student starts explaining a point. After a few sentences, her boss interrupts and takes over the explanation.

Afterwards, she says: “I saw you needed help, so I stepped in.”

But she didn’t need help.

She is perfectly capable of expressing herself, even on technical topics.

And yet, each time this happens, the result is the same.

She feels smaller, less competent, less legitimate.
Her boss studied in the US. She speaks excellent English.

And without saying it directly, she makes my student feel… stupid.

Now, the moment her boss enters the room, my student’s English seems to disappear.

Not because her level drops, but because her confidence does.

Have you ever noticed this?

You’re speaking English quite comfortably.
You’re participating.
You’re expressing your ideas.

Then someone enters the conversation.

Their English is flawless. ( At least that’s what you think )😉
Smooth. Effortless.
Perfect pronunciation.
Zero hesitation.

And suddenly…you feel smaller.

You speak less.
You simplify more.
You monitor yourself.
You lose your rhythm.

What just happened?😕

It’s Not About Their English. It’s About Your Perception. 😓

When we hear someone speak “perfect” English, our brain does something very quick and very human.

It categorizes.

It assumes:

• Higher fluency = higher intelligence

• Better pronunciation = higher competence

• Native-like accent = higher status

None of these assumptions are logically sound but they have emotional impact.

Language is strongly linked to status. And when someone sounds more fluent than we do, it can feel like a shift in hierarchy, even if no one said anything

The Invisible Hierarchy of Accent

There is also something else at play: preconceived ideas concerning accent.

We live in a world where certain accents are subconsciously associated with:

• Authority

• Education

• Professionalism

• Credibility

And others are unfairly associated with:

• Weakness

• Incompetence

• “Not quite enough”

Even when we consciously reject these ideas, they still influence how we feel.

So when someone speaks with what we perceive as “perfect” English, it can activate comparison immediately. Comparison is uncomfortable.

Comparison Is the Real Enemy ☠️

The problem isn’t their fluency. It’s the internal voice that says:

“They’re better than me.”
“I don’t sound like that.”
“I’ll never reach that level.”

And once that voice appears, your performance drops.

Why? 😕

Because you switch from communicating to monitoring.

You stop thinking about the message and start thinking about:

• Your grammar

• Your pronunciation

• Your speed

• Your mistakes

And self-monitoring slows everything down.

Ironically, the intimidation you feel is what actually makes your English sound less fluent in that moment.

What “Perfect” English Really Means 😇

The truth is, perfect English doesn’t exist.

Even native speakers:

• Hesitate

• Search for words

• Make mistakes

• Mispronounce things

• Use fillers

What you’re hearing isn’t perfection. It’s automation. And automation takes time

Also, remember this:

Fluency in English says nothing about:

• Emotional intelligence

• Professional expertise

• Leadership ability

• Creativity

• Strategic thinking

Language fluency is one skill.

Not a personality ranking system.

How to Stop Feeling Intimidated 💪

You don’t eliminate comparison overnight.

But you can change how you respond to it.

👀 Shift Your Focus to the Message

When someone speaks beautifully, instead of thinking:
“How do I sound compared to them?”

Think:
“What are they actually saying?”

Bring your attention back to content, not delivery.

🧠 Remind Yourself of Asymmetry

The person with “perfect” English may:

• Struggle in your language

• Struggle in another skill

• Feel intimidated in a different context

We all have asymmetries.

Fluency is just one visible skill.

🗣️ Speak Anyway

The worst response to intimidation is silence.

The more you withdraw, the stronger the hierarchy feels.

Speak, even if it’s imperfect.

Confidence is often perceived through participation, not accent.

🤔 Redefine Fluency for Yourself

Instead of aiming for “perfect,” aim for:

• Clarity

• Calm

• Connection

Those three things matter far more in real communication.

💭 A Final Thought

If you’ve ever felt intimidated by someone who speaks “perfect” English, you’re not weak. You’re human. Language touches identity. Status. Ego.

But remember this:

The goal of speaking English isn’t to outrank someone.

It’s to communicate.

And the moment you stop ranking yourself against others, your English becomes freer.

And freer English is often more powerful than perfect English.

👉 If you’d like to feel confident speaking English, even in front of people who seem “more fluent”, I can help you build the clarity, calm and presence that don’t disappear when pressure appears. I’m Liz Aldam, an English teacher with more than twenty years of experience, having worked with companies like Yamaha, Faurecia, and others. I live in the Val-d’Oise region in France and I teach online.

📲 Click the WhatsApp icon below and contact me 😊