Why You Say “Yes” in English… Even When You’re Not Sure and what’s really happening in that moment

The other day, I was in the supermarket ( here in Brazil) and the shop assistant asked me something in Portuguese( obviously 🙄) as I was checking out. It happens all the time, and I never know exactly what they’re saying, but I know it’s something about a club card, or about needing help packing my groceries… more or less 🤔

I didn’t fully understand. I never really understand this particular moment. So what do I do each time ?

I say “No thanks”. Blindly 😀

I’m sure one day it’ll get me into trouble.

The same thing can happen to you in English and you say yes . Similar context. Someone asks you a question. You don’t fully understand so the easiest is to smile and say: “Yes”😁

And you know, immediately, that it isn’t quite right.

Not completely wrong… but not completely true either.

Because the reality is:

You understand enough to keep going, but not enough to be sure

And that’s an uncomfortable place to be.

😅 It’s Not About Vocabulary

Most people think this happens because:

“My English isn’t good enough.”

But that’s not really it.

The real issue is this: you’re operating in a zone of partial understanding

🧠 The “In-Between” Zone

In your native language, you’re either:

✔ you understand
✔ or you don’t

But in a second language, there’s a third space:

👉 you almost understand

You catch:
• the main idea
• a few key words
• the intention

But not everything.

And your brain has to decide, very quickly:

❌ Do I stop the conversation?
✅ Or do I continue?

⚡ Why You Choose “Yes”

Because “yes” is not just a word.

👉 It’s a decision.

A decision to:
• keep the conversation moving
• avoid breaking the rhythm
• stay socially “in sync”

And sometimes… to hide uncertainty

😶 Why It Feels So Difficult to Say “Wait”

Because saying:

“Sorry, I didn’t understand”

does something very specific.

It:
• slows everything down
• shifts attention onto you
• exposes a gap

And that feels uncomfortable.

Especially in a professional context.

💡 But Here’s the Key Insight

The goal in conversation is not:

❌ to respond quickly

It’s:

✅ to respond accurately enough to stay aligned

And those are not the same thing.

🎯 What Changes Everything

Instead of thinking:

❓ “Did I understand everything?”

Try asking:

❓ “Did I understand enough to respond correctly?”

If the answer is no…

that’s your moment to pause

🧩 What This Looks Like in Practice

Not vague reactions.

But precise ones.

For example:

👉 “Do you mean…?”
👉 “So you’re asking if…?”
👉 “Just to be sure, you mean…?”

This does two things at once:

✔ keeps the conversation flowing
✔ checks your understanding

🧠 This Is a Skill. Not a Weakness

Native speakers do this constantly.

They:
• check
• clarify
• reformulate

Not because they don’t understand… but because they want to stay aligned

💭 A Final Thought

If you sometimes say “yes” when you’re not completely sure…

❌ it doesn’t mean your English is weak

It means:

✅ you’re managing uncertainty in real time

And that’s one of the hardest parts of speaking another language.

Fluency is not about understanding everything.

It’s about knowing what to do when you don’t.

If you’d like to feel more comfortable in those “in-between” moments, when you understand almost, but not quite, I can help.

I’m Liz Aldam, an English teacher with more than twenty years of experience, having worked with companies like Yamaha, Faurecia and others. I live in the Val-d’Oise region in France and I teach online.

📲 Click the WhatsApp icon below and contact me 😊